Pregnancy is a funny thing, it affects different people in different ways for both the mum and dad to be. Whether its your first child or your 6th its always a new scenario and situation you find yourself in. It was until now I’ve noticed this (welcome to the party, I know) I think I’ve been so busy with work, the haematoma, looking after Mrs D and Sophia I’ve not had many moments to stop and take stock.
We are awaiting player 2 to join our game and while we wait for November to come it’s noticeable the difference between this pregnancy and the first. For me the first pregnancy was in relative terms as breeze, I think Mrs D would also agree it wasn’t a hugely traumatic event. There was no morning sickness, a bit of nausea in the first few weeks, however that subsided quite quickly and the feeling of energy and enthusiasm came flooding back. By the 2nd trimester Mrs D was full of beans, swimming every morning before work, energy to do things at the weekend. I even remember near the end us doing some walks in the forest and Mrs D climbing rock faces (not that big, nothing like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible or anything) but none the less bounding over them with ease. Hindsight should we have really been doing that, well I guess that’s a debate we could have but for another time perhaps. Sophia was due in September but yet July and August was filled with activities such as the Commonwealth Gmes, a great trip down to Glasgow to watch the swimming. Don’t get me wrong, Mrs D had horrific heartburn and carpal tunnel syndrome near the end which wasn’t great for her and caused her some discomfort. On the whole though a very easy pregnancy compared to some you read about.
This pregnancy, it just seems different. It didn’t start well with the haematoma and thinking we might have lost the baby. Maybe this is why I find myself nearly 21 weeks into it and I’ve barely told a person, some work colleagues and close family and friends. (Apart from posting it on here and my other social media sites, friend a never look at them so I guess more people I don’t know know than people I do know) Last time I shouted it from the roof top!!! Mrs D has had morning sickness, tiredness, heartburn and in general just what I can describe as almost rundown and deflated. I had hoped that when we entered the 2nd trimester that things would pick up like last time and while her mood is improving the tiredness is still there, now don’t go mad, I’m not complaining, merely observing the differences from first time round to now. I feel for her, I want her to have more energy, to feel like she wants to do things and not want to sleep all the time. While we have entered this 2nd trimester I can see her being more herself and there being more energy but at times I feel its almost put on, like she’s trying to force it. I fear for the 3rd trimester, what will it bring?? Shear exhaustion? Possible bed rest? Maybe not, maybe the opposite, maybe this is where we see her kick into life!!!
As I say, this is not a compliant nor a moan, merely an observation on what my wife is going through. As the guy, I’m feeling a bit useless. Yes I’m doing more round the house, yes I’m helping more with Sophia, yes I’m trying to make sure Mrs D is comfortable all the time, but its more than that isn’t it? You want to take some of the burden, take the pain, the tiredness, the heartburn or whatever it may be that’s causes your partner pain or sorrow.
As I said before we haven’t really spread the news, I think we are being more cautious because of what we’ve gone through, but we have out 20 week scan next week and I’m feeling more confident and comfortable about things. Once we’ve been for the scan and I see everything is ok then I think I’ll be more inclined to tell people. But for now we’ll monitor Mrs D, and from now until birth we’ll update on our weekly progress.